10 things to do in Tescos

Smiling Pony · Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:20 pm Post subject: 10 things to do in Tescos

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' trolleys when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"Code 10 at Pharmacy" and see what happens.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

7. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK
ME! PICK ME!!!!"

9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream,
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

10. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly...."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"

Smiling Pony · Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:29 pm Post subject:

And if you get bored... here's 30 Things to do in a lift

1. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

5. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the lift. Wear yours upside-down.

6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.

7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

8. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

9. Greet everyone getting on the lift with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you Admiral.

10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the
shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on!"

12. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

13. Meow occassionally.

14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a 50p in your nose.

15. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

16. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the lift descends.

18. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

19. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the lift.

20. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

21. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

22. When the lift is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

24. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

25. Listen to the lift walls with a stethoscope.

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." Shout at anybody who takes a step into it "YOU'RE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE"

27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

28. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.