Out of children's mouths

[cool penguin]

Melanie (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."


Steven (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."



Brittany (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?



Susan (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."



Diane (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"



Marc (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them , he asked his dad:
"Why is he whispering in her mouth?"



Clinton (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"



James (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"



Tammy (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"



The Sermon this Mom will never forget. On this particular Sunday sermon was "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.
"Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment a very obedient daughter (who was listening!) Leaned over to the Mom and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"


Teacher:Peter can you point where America is on the globe.
(Peter pointed on the right spot)
Teacher: Good! Now who discovered America.
Everyone:Peter!


There are other ones on this link:
http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/archives/kids/kids_1.htm

There are eight pages to it, some are funny and some are not!

[Jumping Buffalo]

Huh. When I was a kid, the main thing I used to say was "Want to buy a watch? Twenty bucks." That and, "Anything I want!" - I had an uncle that spoiled me rotten