Smiling Pony's blog

HAD A VERY BAD DAY TODAY. GOT WOKEN UP EARLY BY A STUPID BIRD TALKING. THEN WASN'T LET INSIDE FOR AGES, SO WAS VERY HUNGRY. THEN THESE STRANGE MEN CAME IN A VAN WITH LADDERS AND STARTED SPLASHING WATER AROUND THE HOLES IN THE HOUSE THAT ARE FILLED WITH HARD AIR. THIS WAS HIGHLY DISRUPTIVE AND CONFUSING.
SO I WAS IN A BAD MOOD AND IT WAS ALL GINGER'S FAULT, SO I'VE TORMENTED HIM ALL DAY WHICH USUALLY MAKES ME FEEL BETTER BUT AS I'M HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY, IT DIDN'T. SO I SWORE AT ALL THE HUMANS TOO. THEN I WAS PUSHED OUTSIDE. HUH. SO I WENT TO EAT WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN.

when Fluff has a bad day, everyone suffers. i couldn't sleep for the whole morning because he was shouting in my ears. finally he went out and i was so tired that i slept deeply all afternoon.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

HAVE JUST COME BACK IN BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT TO BE FED NOW. BUT NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME. GRRRRR AM VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE SERVICE IN THIS HOME. HAVE GOT TO GO AND CATCH A FISH.....

HELLO HUMAN! I HAVE HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY SO FAR - HAVE CAUGHT 3 FISH. SCARED THE DUCKS AND WOKEN GINGER UP 8 TIMES! I HAVE ALSO ANNOYED THE HUMANS A LOT. GINGER HAD A FUNNY TURN AGAIN THIS MORNING - AND THEY SAY I'M MENTALLY CHALLENGED. HE JUST GOES ALL CRAZY AND RUNS AROUND THE HOUSE LIKE HE'S POSSESSED.

hello, i'm not possessed - i just like to get rid of excess energy before i can have a hard day's sleep. anyway, sleeping pony lets me sleep and have cuddles on her bed when i go upstairs. so there. and will you please stop waking me up?

HAHAHA NO!!!! ANYWAY I DON'T WAKE YOU UP, THE LITTLE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO JUMP ON TO THE SAME CHAIR THAT YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE ON. SO ITS NOT MY FAULT.

if the 'little voices' told you to jump off a cliff would you do it?

YES. YOU MUST OBEY THE LITTLE VOICES.

please little voices, tell him to jump off a cliff...

OH VERY FUNNY. I'M JUST GOING TO WAKE YOU UP MORE NOW, AND MEOW LOUDLY WHEN YOU ARE STALKING BIRDS SO THEY FLY AWAY. HAHAHA.
I EXPECT YOU WANT TO HEAR MY PLANS... I'M GOING TO SINGLE-PAWEDLY GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND ALL HUMANS WILL ADORE ME AND FEED ME AND GIVE ME CUDDLES.

did the little voices tell you to do this?

SO WHAT IF THEY DID. YOU WILL HAVE TO WORSHIP ME OR YOU WILL DIE BROTHER! HAHA

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HELLO! I'M FLUFF AND I WILL BE WRITING IN THIS LOUD BOLD FONT

Hello, I'm Ginger and I will be writing in this quiter, relaxed and somewhat sleepy font.

WE HAVE DECIDED THAT WE AREN'T TOO OLD FOR THIS NEW-FANGLED TECHNOLOGY SO WE'RE GOING TO KEEP A BLOG ON OUR HUMAN'S WEB WHEN SHE SHE ISN'T LOOKING!! AND IF WE ARE LUCKY WE'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD MUHAHAHAHA

ahem. MY human's web. Anyway stupid, this doesn't make any sense so far. let me explain reader: we are the two cats owned by Smiling Pony. We are 10 years old - but still in our prime and have decided to reach out to the modern world. So....

BORING!!

that was very rude...

I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU! HAHA! OOOO GUESS WHAT SMELLY,

wh..

SHUT UP. YOU CONSISTANTLY HOG THE CONVERSATION - LET ME TALK FOR A WHILE. APPARENTLY TAME SWALLOW IS THAT NICE HUMAN WHO COMES TO CUDDLE ME. AND GIVE ME TREATS. SHE LIKES ME BETTER THAN YOU. HAHA!!
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT MY HOBBIES ARE: ILIKE EATING, SLEEPING, FISHING AND ANNOYING GINGER (AND MY HUMANS)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OW. oh, you've finished your bit. I like sleeping, eating and catching birds. But sleeping is by far my favorite hobby, did you know i am the world champion cat sleeper? Of course it's hard - all the practicing...

MY TURN. I'VE HAD A VERY BAD DAY TODAY- IT WAS RAINING SO I WAS SO WET (I SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAWN). THEN BREAKFAST WAS LATE, AND I WASN'T GIVEN ANY ELEVENSIES, PRE-LUNCH SNACK, LUNCH, AFT-LUNCH SNACK, MID-AFTERNOON TEA AND I STILL HAVEN'T HAD MY DINNER. HUH. YOU JUST CAN'T GET THE HUMANS NOWADAYS.

zzzzzzz. OW!! we've got to go for now, but keep an eye out for updates. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This isn't going to be that exciting, but i'm revising history (or supposed to be) so I thought i'd do it as a blog.

VOTES FOR WOMEN!!!

1889 - suffragists founded by Millicent Fawcett NUWSS (national union of women's suffrage societies). peaceful, used persuasion rather than violence.

1903 - Suffragettes founded by Emmiline and daughters Christabel and Sylvia Pankhurst. WSPU (women's social and political union) millitant. Arson attacks, graffiti, axe thrown at prime minister etc.

Sylvia fell out with mother as she wanted votes for ALL women, not just middle and upper class women. Set up WSF (womens sufferage federation)

1907 - Qualification of women act, women could become county/borough councillors or mayors.

1912 - speaker refused voting bill. Suffragettes got really violent. Suffragists went on a massive march from cardiff to Hyde Park, 40,000 women i think.

1913 - Epsom Derby. Emiliy Davison threw herself under the King's horse (Amner) she died.
Cat and Mouse act to deal with suffragettes in prison going on hunger strikes. This meant they were released until they were better, then re-arrested.

1914 - WW1 starts, campaign called off. White feathers given to men who didn't join up.
During the war women took on men's jobs: bus drivers, coductors, munitions workers, coal miners, postal workers, farm labourers, engineering factories, nurses in military hospitals, sections of the armed forces. This proved women could keep the country going and were actually useful.

1917 - vote in the house of commons to decide whether women should get the vote. 385, for. 55 against

1918 - representation of the people act. All men over 21 got the vote. women over 30 who either owned a house or were married to a homeowner got the vote.

1928 - VOTE GOES TO ALL WOMEN OVER 21

YAY!!!
now for Liberal Reforms:

1906 - school meals act (free school meals), Workman's compensation act (employers had to compensate workers if injuries had been sustained due to work)

1907 - free medical checks for kids

1908 - old age pensions act (guess), Children's Charter (illegal for under 16s to buy cigarettes, beg or go into a pub. couldn't go to adult prison)

1909 - trade boards act (minimum wage set), Labour exchanges act ( Job centres - called labour exchanges funnily enough)

1911 - national insurance act. Part1 dealt with health insurance. Part 2 was about unemployment

The Liberals did this because:
1. they were worried about labour nabbing all their voters
2. During the Boer war over 1/2 the volunteers couldn't sign-up because they were malnourished. So in the event of a big war - we were stuffed.
3. Two reports (Rowntree's - yes the fruit gum guy - "poverty a study of town life" and Charles Booth's "Life and Labour of people in London") showed that one third of British people were living in extreme poverty. AND it wasn't their fault. (previously rich people believed it was your own fault if you were poor)
4. Lloyd George and Churchill (two main pushers for the reforms) wanted to make an impression.

(to be said in a scottish accent)

Beware the long-toed Haggis,
Though he may smile and wave
And beckon you over with a furry paw
As though your company it craves.

Beware the long-toed Haggis,
For beneath its friendly grin
Lie row upon row of razor sharp teeth
just waiting to sink in.

Beware the long-toed Haggis,
As its wave is not what you think -
It's hiding the 10 inch claws you see,
That can tear you to shreds in a blink.

So, beware the long-toed Haggis
As the hunter becomes the prey,
If you should stumble upon one
It'd be best if you just ran away.

I wrote this in bed this morning. Don't ask why, it just popped into my head. And no, i wasn't high.