Category: Blogging

During My days as a cowboy erector (can't touch you for it) I found myself assisting a rather miserable electrician as he wired up one of the ovens we manufactured. He repeatedly sent me out to the van to fetch this and that, make the coffee, buy his fags (oh, that's cigarettes for the American readers, not...well never mind), so I was well fed up with him.
I decided to get my own back. As he was standing on a step ladder wiring up a light fitting above his head, I crept behind him and clapped my hands loudly while simultaneously elbowing the room light switch off.
I had, of course, badly misjudged the overall effect of my actions. When I turned the light back on I found that he had firstly leaped up in the air in surprise. This accounted for the Light shade jammed firmly on his head. Secondly he had steped back. This resulted in him becoming trapped in the rungs of the stepladder. He wouldn't have been so badly injured had his third response not been to switch on the lights in the oven, sending 240V through his head from the shade he was wearing.

Hi folks,
My name is Terry, and I live on the edge of a small town in the Midlands of the UK called Burntwood.

Born in 1953, I spent my early years as a baby. This seemed appropriate at the time. I went to school at four years old having failed my interview as a chimney-sweep.

At the age of ten I passed my eleven plus exam (I was big for my age) and went to Grammar School. I spent the next few years doing voluntary work as a victim for overstressed bullies.

I left school and started work on the first of January nineteen seventy as a laboratory assistant testing water. I learned a lot there, like, don't drink water, don't breath phosgene fumes from the sink and don't drink ammonia.
I used to mix up cyanide buffer solutions. My hobby was dipping a glass rod into the cyanide and dipping it into a beaker full of happily swimming micro-organisms and seeing how long they kept swimming. It was obvious I either had to get therapy or get out of there.

I moved to Industry and got a job travelling around the country putting up industrial spray booths, ovens and (yawn) ducting.
Now this job had an up-side. we would work as a team till about five o'clock and then return to the digs, shower and go out on the town. There was only one thing to do then...booze. Now I don't advocate drinking as a hobby but, well it passed the time till we passed out. This accounts for the hazy recollection of this period of my life.
to be continued....