Roman Centurion's blog

As Terence and I were strolling through the park, alert for any further clues, I espied a winnowy stranger with supple limbs wafting past, as in a dream sequence from some forgotten ballet.

She was beautiful, the very picture of beauty (I keep one in my wallet for comparison, so I know), and she seemed not to notice her surroundings as she floated past, her legs gliding as if fueled by some mysterious power source, and not by the actual motion of her limbs. It was eerie and enticing. She drew all around her into her circle. Passersby gazed hypnotically until her wonderrful sphere of influence moved on.

As Terence and I peered at her from the corners of our eyes, too afraid to look directly on her beauty, lest we be enthralled forever, like those knights who encountered La Belle Dame Sans Merci, or the ancient Greek mariners shipwrecked at the haunting sound of the siren-call.

Once she passed, I looked down to the ground, shy and not a little embarrassed, as others around me were. There, on the pavement, directly where she had passed, lay a compact. It was of a normal size, but when I went to lift it, it weighed very heavy, just as the image of the beautiful stranger weighed heavily on my mind.

I struggled to place it in my pocket. Dare I open it, to see what unwieldy object lay within? Perhaps this was yet another clue...

Next to the park, Armando's fish stall has served countless generations of the inhabitants of our fair city. It is said that there has always been a fish stall on that spot, going all the way back to the time of the Druids (that's Druids with a capital 'D'). I hadn't known that Druids were in these parts, but I know little about history, and I generally believe whatever I'm told.

Terence and I always stop there on our daily walks. I have a bit of salmon, and Terence has a crappie. I take my salmon right at the stall, but Terence usually waits until we get to the park to take his crappie.

Armando had a long face when we arrived that day. It was a sombre occasion, as I was soon to discover. There were no more crappies to be had that day - apparently, the fishermen's nets had failed to catch any. Terence was crestfallen. However, Armando did have some lovely crimson herring, the color of silk sheets. They shimmered in the breeze as they hung from their strings in the stall. I recalled how much Raoul enjoyed herring, and I related to Armando the tale of his mysterious disappearance. Armando was shocked.

He said, "I only saw Raoul just the other day. He bought some lovely crimson herring, and dropped this. I was going to give it to him the next time I saw him."

Armando handed me a key: a mysterious-looking key. I bought some herring, and we again resumed our walk.

I had my first clue. Terence wagged his tail in anticipation. Were we soon to solve this mystery?

Today's walk was fraught with intrigue and sorrow. Terence was pulling at his leash as usual; he so loves our visits to the park, especially now that he has made his own new friend, Rusty the squirrel.

Oddly enough, Arabella and Cody vanished without a trace. I thought it was quite odd, and so did Consuela, who had promised to keep in touch with Arabella. She sent Raoul out to find her, but then somehow Raoul vanished mysteriously. Consuela was hysterical, and would have remained so had not I assured her that I would get to the bottom of the whole affair. It was, after all, exactly the thing for which I had been longing for the past few days.

Not only a good mystery, but an excellent mystery. I only hope that I have enough sense to analyse the clues and make the correct deductions in order to solve it. I had suggested that we contact the police, but Consuela - bless her heart - knew how happy this would make me.

So, I set out for the park - the last place I met Arabella and Cody. Perhaps I would find a clue there...

Raoul called, frantic. Last night, Consuela met a woman named Arabella; she has a two-month-old son, Cody. She had set Cody down on a park bench, and was reaching into her diaper bag when a siren came screaming by. She turned to look at the passing traffic, and when she turned back, Cody was gone.

Exactly. Fortunately for her, a young Boy Scout was walking past, and saw what had happened. In the second that Arabella's back was turned, a squirrel lowered itself from a tree branch and scooped up the baby. Before the Boy Scout (his name was Randy) could even shout a warning to Arabella, the squirrel clambered back up into its treetop nest, high above the ground.

The only question that now presented itself was how to get the baby back from the squirrel's nest. Consuela, who happened to be out on her evening constitutional, met Arabella, and they contacted Raoul, since he is very gymnastic. Raoul called me, and I immediately set out for the park with Terence in tow.

Needless to say, everything worked out for the best, and Cody isback with his mother. Oh- you were wondering how we managed it? It's very simple. Terence simply chased the squirrel into some juniper bushes, while Raoul ascended the tree and rescued the baby.

It was fortuitous for the squirrel that Terence happened to choose those particular juniper bushes, for that's where she discovered her own baby. I'm no naturalist, but apparently the mother squirrel mistook Cody's cries for those of her own missing baby.

Thankfully, it was all straightened out, and Terence earned himself an extra biscuit for dessert. I must say, both he and Raoul were preening themselves quite nicely, in their well-deserved hero roles.

I felt a little sad on our way home, however, so I decided to solve a mystery of my own.

I said earlier that I would have to pretend Terence was a seeing-eye dog to get him into the Full Moon Café. Funny enough, the Café is the type of place that has to be experienced visually to get the full effect. You can experience it tactilely, but that would cost extra.

Yes, we had inadvertently arranged to meet in a bar staffed by exotic dancers. I was hoping for a little ambience, maybe a singing waiter or an aquarium. Instead, we sipped mai tais beside a stage populated with prancing and gyrating strippers. I was relieved that Terence wasn't there to see it, although he has seen me naked on a number of occasions. Even that is a little creepy for me, but he doesn't really seem to notice. I've always wondered what goes through an animal's mind when it sees someone taking off or putting on clothes, such as a coat. Do they understand the concept of clothing? Can their mind diget that idea? I suppose babies have it the same way for a while.

And speaking of babies, no the baby has not yet arrived. Consuela is getting anxious, but there is no remedy but to wait.

I helped Raoul practise a few of his lines today. He's getting quite good. He really makes Oinkimus' character come alive. I can hardly wait to see the production. Perhaps I'll sing one of the numbersfor you.

My friend was deeply embarrassed, but we managed to make the most of our day. Once we got over the initial shock, we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The dancers were all very kind, and we even made a new friend together. A DJ at the Full Moon came up to us with a quizzical look on his face. He thought he knew us from somewhere, but of course he didn't.

I gave him my card, and told him to call. It's so nice to make friends. I think I'll bake some cookies.

Well, once we managed to reach Raoul, he advised that Consuela really hadn't gone into labour after all, and he was embarrassed for getting our hopes up. There I go again, speaking about Terence and myself as if he really knows what's going on. But sometimes, he seems just like another person to me. Perhaps I miss my friends.

Poor Raoul is very busy now with the musical. They dove right in with rehearsals, and he's very excited. It has something to do with pigs, he told me. That's right: pigs. Can you believe it?

It's called Pig Latin, and apparently, they're in a Roman-style civilization. Ergo "Pig Latin". What a clever title, I told him, although I can't imagine what it would be like. A musical about animals? The mind boggles.

Anyways, Raoul's character is Oinkimus Maximus, I think. He's a Roman general, whose family is killed by the new Emperor. Thereare a lot of singing parts, so he has some memorization to do. i didn't ask if the play was written in Pig Latin. That might make it easier for rhyming purposes: everything ends in "ay".

I spoke with my friend later that day, and we have arranged to meet at the Full Moon café. I understand it's a very interesting palce, but I've never been. Now I will. Poor Terence, though. He will not be allowed in, unless I tell them he's my seeing-eye dog.

I'll think about it.

Terence was unusually quiet this morning as we stepped out for our morning constitution (our walk). Normally, he bounds along the green swath, eager for new diversions. Today he positively moped (that's "moped" the verb, not "moped" the motorized bike).

Suddenly, his ears perked up, and he pointed with his nose, like a hunting dog, into the nearby forest. There, on the path, stood our new friend carrying a parcel of confections. Well, Terence would be happy to meet anyone with a parcel of confections any day, but to meet our new friend with a parcel of confections was too much for this poor puppy to bear. He strained at the leash, pulling me inexorably forward among the green trees, and yipping delightedly.

Our friend waved and held up the parcel to show that our presence was acknowledged. With a hearty handshake as we arrived, the three of us were gossiping like schoolgirls over our lives since we last met. I had little to say, of course - I am naturally shy - but my friend elaborated on a very interesting bit of misfortune which I should like to relatae to you sometime when I have the chance. But not today. Today was a time of celebration. It turns out that my friend made ME a friendship bracelet, and presented me with it at that moment.

I was visibly stunned. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I sighed. What could possibly happen to make this day any better, I wondered. Anything else would be a mere denouement to this joyful climax. We shared a confection beneath the waving pines - Terence, alas, went without, but I gave him an extra biscuit when we got home.

I checked my messages - Raoul called to say that Consuela was going into labour. What a day this has been.

There is nothign finer than a peach in season. Unless you count all the other lovely new things that I seem to discover each and every day. Raoul especially loves peaches. That's why I said that, you see, since I really don't care for them myself.

But one does not have to eat a peach to enjoy it, does one? I will have to ask my friend Tony, the fruiterer. I see him at market constantly, peddling his succulent harvest.

But I digress. Terence was climbing the walls today for some reason. I hardly realized it, but he was already missing my new friend.

"My, Terence," I returned each wag of his hastening tail with a wag of my chastening finger, "You must remember not to give your affection away so freely." I remembered a quote from Ben Franklin upon the subject, but I daresay I can't recall it now.

Raoul stopped by with a basket of peaches for me. Evidently, he was successful in the audition, and had landed a role in a play at the Little Theatre. It's a musical, and he's a very good dancer. He taught me how to tango, which is a requirement in many walks of life.

Terence is lying in the corner, sulking. I should say "pouting", but I am too kind, and I miss my new friend as well. Strange, is it not, how quickly we grow accustomed to the faces of new people?

I was reminded of Alred J Prufrock and the mermaids - dare I eat a peach? and all that. " have heard the mermaids singing each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me."

What a sad outlook. I am happy that I have my friends, Raoul and Consuela, and Terence too. They are my mermaids, singing to me. I will call my new friend tomorrow. The lace should be in by then.

Dear Diary,
Today I invited my new lady friend over for tea. Terence was eager with anticipation. He saw me bringing home the crumpets from the local patisserie. You know Terence and his crumpets.

Anyhow, my new friend arrived promptly at 4:00pm, and we began tea. It was delightful. I can't wait to do it again.

I am in the middle of the friendship bracelet. I ran out of the ivory-coloured lace that I normally use for doily-making, and the milliner was completely out of stock. That's the last time I frequent that establishment - I apologize for my outburst, but I was so terribly frustrated at not having the bracelet ready for my new friend at tea time.

Once she left, my neighbour, Raoul, stopped by for s crumpet. I had two left over, so I offered one to Raoul, and one to Terence. Terence only got half, though - I will not spoil him as I spoiled Constantine.

Raoul was waiting to hear back about an audition from the previous afternoon. I wished him the bestest of luck, and I asked after his sister Consuela. Can you believe it? She still hasn't had the baby yet.

Once Raoul left, I settled down on my chaise longue (sorry, that's a fainting couch - sometimes, I get soo pretentious), and promptly fell asleep.

What an exciting day. I could hardly wait for tomorrow.

I ws walking down the street with my dog, Terence, and I noticed a small sign at the side of the road. Stopping to read it, I accidentally caused a woman behind me to jostle me with a large parcel.
I was indignant, but I hid it well, since I am a very kind person at heart.
She apologized, which made up for the whole mishap, and we became the fastest of friends.
I am currently making her a friendship bracelet, and I may even invite her to tea tomorrow.

Isn't life grand?